I was a day creature’s worst nightmare - a child that adored the night - and still does. My parents are wonderful people and as day creatures...loved me anyway.
My mother has a set of patience that blows me away. As an infant I struggled with an iron deficiency and she spent long hours holding me at awkward angles that eased my discomfort in hopes of coaxing me to sleep. I also knew her as the Great T.P. Goddess who valiantly slayed bloody noses in the wee hours of the morning when I’d appear by her bedside in tears. She fashioned my love of reading by reading me bedtime stories until I could read them for myself. I love her for putting up with my – Just one more story, pretty, pretty please Mom! – a request she often granted by reading me one more, sometimes two.
My dad was patient in the way he'd do Monster Checks before bed. When the checks began to fail, he devised an elaborate story that surrounded my stuffed animals. He weaved tales of heroic exploits as bedtime guardians. I was assured that once The Sandman made his visit that my stuffed animals worked shifts guarding my bedroom door, posting centuries at the edges of my bed, and setting up a perimeter outside my closet door. When fear began raising doubts as to my bedtime safety, I’d mysteriously awake the next morning and find stuffed animals placed strategically around my room. Since I never actually caught him in the act of stuffed animal deployment…I can’t say that perhaps they didn’t amble off their shelves and do just as he’d implied. Guardian stuffed animals were more important to me than Santa Clause.
sweet halloween dreams by ~begemott on deviantART
However, despite their fathomless patience, the older I got…the longer and harder I worked at fudging my bedtime. I was good…so good that I began burning holes in their quilt of patience. Rather than pleading one more story or worrying about things that might be in the dark…I told one more story, asked one more question, needed one more glass of water, or forgot to brush my teeth – I had a laundry list of stall tactics. Eventually Dad would say a final goodnight and leave me to my own devices and Mom would protest and at times nod off in my doorway or at the foot of my bed.
While perusing Kindle items on amazon.com I happened upon a book title that made me laugh: Go the F**k to Sleep
- Immediately I wanted it, but preferred to have this gem in hardcover to put on my shelf. It brought back memories of bedtime. While my parent’s pleads for me to go to bed were always polite, by the time they were forced to walk off and leave me alone, this was the unspoken message that lingered between us.
Yesterday, a tweet from a friend alerted me that an audio version of this title was available online. Up until now I only knew the title, but had never read the contents. However, once I discovered it’d been read by none other than the fabulous Samuel L. Jackson – I laughed. I knew when I got home and situated for the evening that I’d track down a link to this masterfully read tale of parental woe. A woe I’d caused for the better part of my youth and at times in the present when I happen to be visiting with them during late evening hours. Eventually, I found what I was looking for on youtube.com and what a treat. Not only did I get an audio read but also the pages within. The illustrations are beautiful and paired with words and Jackson – epic.
So, this is for you Mom and Dad: I love you. I love you. I love you. And as I bring this post to a close you’ll be happy to know that I’m going to ‘Go the F**k to Sleep’.
Kishi Kaisei [起死回生] http://kishikaisei.posterous.com
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